Tuesday 23 July 2002

She just fainted

Supping milky tea and eating biscuits around a typical town hall table, slowly coming to terms with having left a very important pint of my blood in a small plastic bag just minutes beforehand, the woman opposite me performed a perfect demonstration of a classic, cliched faint:

  • Look pale

  • Place hand on chest just below neck

  • Roll eyes to ceiling

  • Fall off chair

The only areas she disappointed were

  • She didn't place her hand on her brow at any point

  • She didn't close her eyes

  • She scored low in the dignity stakes by fitting and starting very briefly

She seemed untroubled by her unconsciousness and recovered composure very well. I thanked her for her effortless confirmation that things only become cliches when they're rooted in fact.

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