World of more

At the risk of sounding like an uber-geek, I was thinking about how to describe emotions properly. There should be some sort of absolute reporting mechanism so we can accurately convey how something feels, it should be possible to say to someone "and then the pipe burst and my favourite T-shirt was ruined and I felt like X " and for them to be able to think, "well I felt like X too when I was eating a slice of toast and my teeth fell out in front of the padre, so I know exactly what that feels like" without resorting to a whole world of wild gesticulation, adjectives like dreamy, whirling and wild, and the all too common response of "I know" when they clearly don't. In the world of design and techy things and what not, colours are specified using a set of numbers called RGB values. Any given colour can be described with three numbers detailing the amount of Red, Green and Blue in the colour. So (0,0,0) is black, (255, 255, 255) is white, and there ...

I need a challenge in my life. I'm fed up of the emotional lurches and swoops of the last few months and need to devote my life to something else instead. I've been inspired by reading Round Ireland with a Fridge , Playing the Moldovans at Tennis and Are You Dave Gorman? (all excellent BTW) and I need something to do along those lines. It's got to be unique stupid achievable with a bit of chutzpah achievable within a year not bank-breakingly expensive and I've got to be able to write an award-winning book about it all at the end of the year so that I can retire. Notably, all the books listed above start with a drunken bet - when I got drunk on Saturday night the only bet I made is that I could get a 6-pack in 6 months. The best suggestion so far has been to try and do some silly sayings or proverbs like selling sand to the Arabs. Any suggestions gratefully received at the usual e-mail address .

I started this blogging malarkey for two reasons so that I could keep distant friends updated so that I could practise my creative writing and ultimately become as rich and famous as Jeffrey Archer for my riveting reads If I'm honest, there was a third minor goal in the back of my mind, so that slowly, using the power of the internet, my readership would grow and grow, until daily, millions would thrill to the trials of my life (and I could IPO and retire) And I'm some way to achieving that third goal today. A new reader has been brought to my attention... (ahem, embarrassed silence) ..it's "him", "the other man" from the tales below... (shuffle, cough) ...I bear him no ill will, but knowing your "opposition" is rifling through your metaphorical underwear drawer is an odd feeling.

Like an overexcited child, I got back on the rollercoaster and was sick again. I'm embarrassed to admit to all this after the continual beating I receive from everyone when they've read this site and tell me how stupid I'm being, but I suppose I should stand up and take it like a man. I went back to her. More accurately she came back to me. She spent two or three weeks crafting a long love letter to me, splitting up with him (over the phone) and trying to persuade me that I was the love of her life, I was the one that made her happy, I was the one she wanted to be with. She did a very good job too. She even went to the effort of giving me all the photos she had of them together and all the letters he had sent her (although I didn't want anything to do with them) so that I would truly believe that she had written him out of the book of her life. So, predictably, I succumbed, and we were 'officially', if tentatively, going out with each other again. Then, equal...